Golden Globes live blog: Let’s dish the best, worst & craziest moments

2016 golden globes live blog

Gold Derby editors and contributors can’t stifle what we think of every moment at the Golden Globes. Here are live musings on the best, worst & craziest moments from Tom O’Neil, Chris Beachum, Marcus Dixon, Daniel Montgomery, Rob Licuria, Matt Noble,Charlie Bright,  Riley Chow, Ralph Galvan and Amanda Spears

MARCUS: I think Ricky did a good job, but his “bored, drunk” persona got old really quickly. I loved his simple barbs introducing presenters like Mel Gibson and Matt Damon … those were priceless.

AMANDA: Gentlemen we have a December surprise on our hands!

ROB: wooohooooo “The Revenant”!

DANIEL: The orchestra thinks they’re playing off Leonardo DiCaprio, but they’re actually just giving his speech a killer dramatic underscore.

ROB: …and the f***ing Academy Award FINALLY goes to (hopefully), Leo DiCaprio! Standing O = Oscar. 

AMANDA: I usually hate ungracious losers but I’ll give Queen Latifah a pass. 

RILEY: “The Martian” winning might not mean anything for the Oscars, but the standing ovation for Ridley Scott does.

ROB: Is this a sign that The Martian is not losing steam?!? I hope so. Now, let Sir Ridley speak!

DANIEL: “The Martian” is an excellent film, but being the winner for Best Comedy Picture makes the Globes look bad. Ridley Scott and Matt Damon both looked a little embarrassed to win in that category.

MARCUS: Everyone thought that “The Martian” win lose to “The Big Short” for Best Comedy. I was one of them. I’m happy for “The Martian,” but was it really a laffer?

AMANDA: I don’t like Carrey’s facial hair but at least he brought the funny!

ROB: Hey, Jim Carrey! Shave that shit off your face. You look 78!

MARCUS: The promo for “Room” just gave away the entire film, from beginning to end. No need to watch it now. You just saw it over the course of like 45 seconds.

ROB: I had such high hopes for this show. It’s not that memorable. Not enough genuine emotion or laughs. It’s mediocrity. Ricky is off his game. Mean does not necessarily equal funny. Please, for the big categories, can the speeches knock our socks off?!?

MATT: Lawrence and Winslet are globe favourites, we shouldn’t have been so surprised.

MARCUS: I’m so happy I didn’t put any money on the race for Schumer vs. Lawrence, because I would have lost. I thought Schumer had this in the bag. Soooo sad.

AMANDA: JLaw? Boring. They need to mix it up a little. 

TOM: I have never been so happy to be wrong about a prediction. THANK YOU, Globe voters, for giving the prize to the deserving one (JLaw) over the hipper alternative (Schumer). ‘JOY’ RULES!

ROB: They REALLY love JLaw, huh?!?

RALPH: So glad I switched back from Smith to JLaw just in time – and didn’t listen to the Schumer stuff.

ROB: As I type this, thousands of middle-aged women are driving over in their station wagons with signs and pickets to protest the HFPA for not giving any Globes to “Outlander”. Watch out, these soccer moms will set you on fire!

DANIEL: Taraji P. Henson’s enthusiasm is infectious. She shut down the countdown clock in the best way.

RALPH: Taraji P Henson – all is right on the TV side now.

ROB: Taraji P. Henson is a STAR. More please. 

TOM: This Globe for Innaritu is a Kiss-and-Make-Up Award after they snubbed him twice last  year. Remember, he lost Best Director to Richard Linklater (“Boyhood”) and “Birdman” lost Best Comedy Musical Picture to “Grand Budapest Hotel”

AMANDA: Congrats to Inarritu for doing what Woody Allen could not! That is losing the Globe, winning the Oscar and then coming back the following year to win the Globe. 

DANIEL: I actually loved Denzel Washington’s Cecil B. DeMille Award win and his sweet, slightly flustered speech, but I think his filmography is strong enough that they could have skipped “The Equalizer” and “2 Guns.”

ROB: I’m sorry, but Washington’s acceptance speech wasn’t great. Please, somebody shake this show up, I’m falling asleep! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

MARCUS: Did Denzel Washington just publicly reveal the truth of how Golden Globes are won? Wow!

AMANDA: Was Washington’s standing “o” shorter than Stallone’s. 

ROB: We don’t have bleeping in Australia … He said “what the fuck does Sugar Tits mean?”

TOM: Bravo, Ricky. You just had your best bit of the night – your SAVAGE intro to Mel Gibson. But what the hell did you say when the network bleeped you.

MATT: Seems like the voters went out of their way to not award “Fargo,” I recommend that HFPA members avoid the Waffle Hut for the next couple of weeks.

ROB: “Fargo” skunked! Did ANYONE see that coming?

TOM: Uh-oh. Poor Lady Gaga,  you are the new Pia Zadora of the Golden Globes.

RALPH: Dunst was absolutely robbed. Her work in the ‘Fargo’ episode “Loplop” alone is the best performance by anyone on TV this year. The HFPA are star-whores, no joke.

MARCUS: Apparently Aziz Ansari doesn’t follow Gold Derby, or he would have known that Gael Garcia Bernal (and not Jeffrey Tambor) was the odds-on favorite to win. No surprise here, but still very deserving.

ROB: Gael Garcia Bernal. Many of us do you coming, but what a great win and wonderfully joyous acceptance speech! Are you paying attention Emmys?

AMANDA: If I were in the Spotlight camp I would start drinking now!

TOM: The last time a film won Best Screenplay without being nominated for Best Picture – Drama or Comedy – was 1980: “The Ninth Configuration,” a wacky vanity project by William Peter Blatty (“The Exorcist”) starring Stacy Keach and Jason Miller … This year “Steve Jobs” deserved it. Huzzah to the HFPA for doing the right thing after doing the wrong thing by failing to nominate “Steve Jobs” for Best Picture.

DANIEL: Another surprise win for “Steve Jobs.” Where was this support for the film when the HFPA was voting for their Best Picture nominees?

AMANDA: They didn’t just stand warmly, they had to be asked by Stallone to sit. He has the momentum. 

DANIEL: I had a feeling Stallone would be the standing-O winner of the night. Still not sure he wins the Oscar, but it certainly doesn’t hurt.

MARCUS: After tonight, anyone who doesn’t predict Sylvester Stallone to win the Oscar for “Creed” is absolutely insane.

RALPH: Nailed the performance. Nailed the speech. Standing Ovation. On to the Oscar, Sly! #SAGandBAFTAbeDamned

DANIEL: At this rate on the TV side, if any predictors score more than 50%, we should test them for human growth hormone.

RALPH: Matt Damon = best speech of the night (so far). Quick, from the heart, and a laugh or two.

RILEY: Matt Damon has been the most obvious winner of the night so far and the best that he could come up with for a speech was thanking his children… because he said that he would?

ROB: Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence need their own show! Or host the Globes next year. But, use the c-word, and you deal with the wrath of Blanchett and Louis-Dreyfus!

DANIEL: With all the surprises on the TV side, I wonder how the rest of the film awards are going to go. They don’t have a lot to lose by going crazy with their TV winners, but the Globes still want to be taken seriously as an Oscar predictor, so I don’t see them straying too far from the beaten path.

ROB: can we do a Miss Universe switcheroo and give Jon Hamm’s globe to Rami Malek?

TOM: If there was ONE prediction I thought was DEFINITE it was Rami Malek as Best Drama Actor. He’s not only the Hot New Sexy Thing among rising stars, he portrays a wigged-out, psychotic, eyes-bulging character. It’s a big flashy role. But Jon Hamm winning reminds us of how the Globes can sometimes be curiously sentimental at the end of a show’s run. Remember when Kelsey Grammer suddenly won a Globe out of nowhere near the end of the run of “Cheers”?

AMANDA: I should’ve known I wasn’t going to be happy with Best Actor in a Drama after Slater won. At least Hamm got his Globe moment.

RALPH: I’d forgotten Hamm was even nominated – ‘Mad Men’ is such old news. #NoMrRobotSweep

TOM: Next year let’s have Quentin Tarantino host the Globes!

AMANDA: Jamie Foxx your daughter is Miss Golden Globe can’t you just behave! This is not about you. 

ZACH: A  well-deserved win for Ennio Morricone’s memorable “Hateful Eight” score. Here’s hoping it translates to the Italian veteran’s first Oscar win!

TOM: Thank you, “Hateful 8.” I finally got a category right.

ROB: The one category I cared about most was TV Supporting Actor and I was so hoping for Christian Slater!!!! So happy!

DANIE: I wonder if observer effect comes into play with these TV winners. Gold Derby notices the correlation between program nominations and acting winners at the Golden Globes, then the Globes Globes all at once just decide to stop doing that.

MARCUS: Congrats to Oscar Isaac on his win for “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” — or, wait, was it “Ex Machina” — or maybe “Show Me a Hero”?

ROB: I am so happy for “Mozart in the Jungle”, the little show that could. Good call Foreign Press!

TOM: Damn it! I KNEW I shoulda picked Rachel Bloom. She’s the perfect made-for-Globes star – she’s hip, smart, funny, sexy and she’s a show creator. This win makes a LOT of sense

ZACH: And Rachel Bloom makes for another surprise win. Did HFPA voters look at our predictions and decide to go in the complete opposite direction?

RILEY: I deliberately made sure that I predicted just about all of the networks (HBO, Showtime, Starz, Netflix, FX, Amazon, USA), so now that I have gotten one wrong, I will get all of them wrong.  No!

TOM: None of our “experts” or editors correctly predicted the win by Kate Winslet, but 127 of our 1,900  users did! Only one expert (Peter Travers) and no editors foresaw the win by Maura Tierney, but 107 out of 1,250 users did!! Congrats to Gold Derby’s brilliant users

DANIEL: Kate Winslet and Maura Tierney win Golden Globes. Go home, predictions, you’re drunk.

ROB: Maura Tierney!!! There’s Showtime’s award. Spread that wealth, HFPA! 

ZACH: Kate Winslet for “Steve Jobs!” Didn’t see that one coming. Could Mara’s absence have helped in her win? Is this the first step towards Oscar #2?

ROB: The “bear” banter with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum: mediocrity at its finest. And two F-bombs! Get off!!!

RALPH: The bear bit may have worked if 75% wasn’t bleeped out. #PlanBetter

AMANDA: Jonah is either drunk or brilliant. Either way hilarious. 

DANIEL: Ricky Gervais’s monologue was a little mean, but against relatively easy targets (Hollywood sexism, Roman Polanski, “Pixels”).

ROB: That’s it? Ridicule the HFPA and say a few mean things? So disappointed Ricky!!!AMANDA: First bad joke of the night (Polanski). 

MARCUS: I loooove the awkward reactions in the audience to Ricky’s off-color comments.

AMANDA: Jacob Tremblay so adorable cannot wait to see him win at the Critics Choice Awards. 

ROB: Ricky on fire tonight! #beer

MARCUS: The first category is Best Film Supporting Actress, which means I’ll find out right away whether I was stupid or smart about making a last-minute switch from Jennifer Jason Leigh to Alicia Vikander. Gulp.

CHARLIE: What the hell is that coming out of Rooney Mara’s head? Is that a snake? Oh wait, that’s her hair.

AMANDA: Michael Fassbender looks to be enjoying his nomination!

ROB: Biggest mystery of Golden Globes 2016: Is Maggie Smith actually there at the show? News at 11.

AMANDA: America Fererra looks beautiful in mustard! Alicia Vikander looks beautiful and simple in white! Gina Rodriguez’s ball gown is a little much for the gloves. 

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