Ricky Gervais offers ‘advice’ to Oscars hosts Anne Hathaway & James Franco

After the strong reaction to his emceeing of this year’s Golden Globes, Ricky Gervais is unlikely to be sought out for the ultimate hosting job — the Academy Awards — anytime soon. However, he did take to his website to offer the twosome that did get the gig, Anne Hathaway and James Franco, some tongue-in-cheek advice.

He prefaces his proposed monlogue with the following: “I know how nervous they must be right now. They will do an absolutely fantastic job and don’t need my help, but I’ve written a little opening in case they have a few minutes to fill.”

Peppering their remarks with salty language is the way to go says Gervais. After a few minutes of less-than-harmless banter, in which they would jest about xenophobia, eating disorders, charity work, and kidnapping, the pair should conclude thus:

Anne Hathaway:
Oh James, you are a card. And your slightly risky jokes are not threatening because you’re one of us. And you are so handsome.

James Franco:
So let’s get this show on the road.
Our first presenter is a Hollywood legend whose boots Ricky Gervais would not be fit to kiss…
The wonderful…
Mel Gibson…

(Standing ovation)

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