11 delicious zingers from Jessica Lange’s ‘American Horror Story’ encore: ‘I’m Constance Langdon and this is my f***ing house’

After a four-year break, Jessica Lange made her triumphant return to FX’s “American Horror Story” during the sixth episode of “Apocalypse,” directed by none other than Sarah Paulson. In “Return to Murder House,” witches Madison (Emma Roberts) and Behold (Billy Porter) traveled to the haunted Season 1 residence at Cordelia’s (Paulson) request to try to learn more information about Michael (Cody Fern). While there, Constance Langdon appeared as a chain-smoking, whisky-guzzling ghost and taunted the witches in classic Jessica Lange fashion. Scroll down to see the 11 most delicious zingers from her “AHS” encore.

When we last saw Constance in the 2011 finale of “AHS: Murder House,” she was acting as the caregiver to Michael, her grandson, since his biological parents Tate (Evan Peters) and Vivien (Connie Britton) were both dead. But as Constance revealed in the October 17 episode, Michael, who aged 10 years overnight, soon started killing animals before moving on to people. Constance understood that her last chance at being a mother failed miserably, so she took pills and drank whiskey in the murder house so that she could return as a ghost and be reunited with her family.

Lange won two Emmys for her work on “American Horror Story”: as next door neighbor from hell Constance Langdon in “Murder House” (2012) and as supreme witch Fiona Goode in “Coven” (2014). She starred on Ryan Murphy‘s anthology series for four years before leaving to pursue other ventures such as “Feud: Bette and Joan.” This week’s encore marked the first — but hopefully not last — time that Lange returned to “AHS” following her departure.

Here are Lange’s 11 best zingers from “American Horror Story: Apocalypse”:

“I’m Constance Langdon and this is my f***ing house.”

“Well, you two are the most unlikely pair. But on the plus side your spawn will have beautiful skin.”

“It’s true that this side of the mortal coil makes it impossible to get a good buzz going. But, well, old habits die hard.”

“If you’re going to be an old maid for all eternity, why not be a decent one?”

“I know more about that boy than any woman, dead or alive. But I don’t spill a drop of tea for free, kiddos.”

“If you really do have witchcraft at your disposal, then why don’t you just abracadabra the goddamn b**** out of my afterlife?”

“I had seen enough Discovery Channel specials to know exactly what evolutionary tree he was shimmying up.”

“You are childless, I presume? A skinny little thing like you would struggle to carry.”

“A bottle of whisky and a funny chaser? Ooo, that’s what I call a bon voyage.”

“Well, there it is. The whole story. Was it everything you dreamed of, witchy-poos?”

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