John Schneider played dead on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ for Halloween, but it was the judges who signed his death warrant [WATCH]

I demand a recount! John Schneider performed a paso doble on “Dancing with the Stars” for Halloween Night that mixed the combative Latin dance style with some Tim Burton flavor (the music was the theme from “Beetlejuice”), but I think it was the judges who were possessed because it was by far the lowest-scored routine of the night. I don’t know what dance they were watching; it was a lot better than the scores he got for it. Do you agree, or am I the one who’s out to lunch? Watch it above and decide for yourself.

I was a little worried — and so was Schneider — when he pro partner Emma Slater first described the routine she was choreographing: he was a king who had her beheaded, and now they’re both in the afterlife and she’s looking for revenge. The most worrying part was that he couldn’t even get past the “paso doble” part — literally just the words, which he couldn’t even pronounce.

But he delivered a solid performance as a corpse king, and while there was one mishap — Schneider stepped on Slater’s flowing dress during a spinning left — and he was a little stiff, I didn’t see nearly as many mistakes as the judges claimed to, and I’ve now watched it twice. Bruno Tonioli called it “a historical tragedy” where he “lost the refinement and the timing.” Carrie Ann Inaba thought it was one of his “roughest” performances. And Len Goodman felt the supernatural number “wasn’t super, and it wasn’t that natural.”

Even with those criticisms, the scores were surprising. He got 6s from Inaba and Tonioli and a 7 from Goodman for a total of 19 out of 30. Those are Grocery Store Joe-level numbers, and Schneider had better command of his choreography than Joe ever had when he got scores like those. What’s worse, Joe improved on his past performances, but the bar for him was so low that the judges went overboard by giving him a total of 22 out of 30 — I thought Schneider was better. And with those scores it might doom Schneider to elimination since we know Joe has a powerful fan base in his corner.

If Schneider’s kingly routine really does result in a regicide next week, it’s the judges who are holding the murder weapons. Et tu, Bruno?

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