‘Survivor’ 38: Just how many dumb things did Joe do before he was voted out? Let us count the ways! [POLL]

Hey, Joe! Where you going without an idol in your hand? To Extinction Island, that’s where.

Just how does someone who has played “Survivor” twice before and was voted out both times not have the sense to know there is a huge target on his back. In fact, Joe Anglim  knew he had a considerable bull’s eye because he spent part of the previous episode weeping over his inevitable fate once the merge happened.

The other castaways have no need for his survival skills and knack for winning physical challenges now that individual immunity, as host Jeff Probst likes to say, is up for grabs. Good ol’ “Joey Amazing,” a self-proclaimed challenge beast, blew it when he needed it most — for himself. Instead of focusing on preventing a statue falling off of a long piece of wood while he balanced on a narrow beam, he let it drop while two female players, Lauren O’Connell and Julie Rosenberg — the eventual winner — outlasted him.

SEE The Probst has spoken: Aubry’s ‘Survivor’ advantages are ‘Bye-bye. El gonzo’ post-Extinction Island

Surely, given his situation, Joe might have spent his time before Tribal Council looking for an idol or discussing strategy with other players. Instead, he made like Van Gogh — or, as my colleague Marcus James Dixon said, Van Joe — and focused on painting a phoenix on the merge flag for the now-Vata tribe. Ron Clark, self-described puppet-master of the former Kama tribe, tried to get Joe to open up about who he was voting for but he revealed nothing. Instead, he was intentionally vague and avoided specifics — not a good strategy at all.

Joe also had a premonition something was afoot as he felt “little tingles going off” as Jeff started reading the votes. For a while, other names including fellow “Survivor” veterans David Wright and Kelley Wentworth flashed by as well as Rick Devens, fresh off of Extinction Island.  But then boom, boom, boom, boom, boom — Joe’s name was called out five times. His first words? “I made a big mistake.” As he read the Extinction Island instructions, Joe said, “Easy decision,” and off he went with his fresh torch to climb into the boat. “Just left the door wide open,” he said. “Worst thing I’ve could have done.”

Joe then waxed philosophical as he headed to the purgatorial isle: “The one thing I feared happening, happened tonight. I’m trying to keep my emotions together and not break. But maybe I need to be here. The theme of the merge flag was a phoenix. You have to die to be born again. That’s exactly what I’ll do this season.” Certainly Reem Daly, Aubry Bracco and Chris Underwood, who had to go back to Extinction and wait for another chance to return, seemed glad to see him.

Well, in Joe’s honor, let’s tick off all the stupid amateur-hour errors he left in his wake leading up to his dismissal in the form of a poll. You get to pick your favorite of his wrong moves.

SEE exclusive predictions: Who will win ‘Survivor’?

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