‘Big Brother 22’ spoilers: The terrible reads and gameplay continue, but Jaysar remain unbothered

Since this will be a shorter season on “Big Brother 22: All-Stars,” maybe we can get a head start on the double elimination this week? Because, oy.

Yes, Nicole Anthony is still dying on her “Janelle Pierzina Is the Devil” hill, but David Alexander is also leaving much to be desired. We all felt bad for him last season, and it’s fair to say most of us felt like he deserved a shot to actually play the game, even if you wouldn’t really consider him an all-star. Memphis Garrett got a lot of heat for the condescending way he nominated David and for wanting him to prove himself, but also, at this point, he’s not wrong. David is not good at this.

He shrewdly played up his emotions initially after nominations to garner sympathy, but his social game is a disaster. The vote looks to be favoring him now and he has absolutely no clue how to position himself to move forward. He has some allies, like Tyler Crispen and Da’Vonne Rogers, but they’re not solid, and he’s not in a guys alliance that he’s made Kaysar Ridha think exists. He and Kaysar had a chat Tuesday night, which was arguably one of the most uncomfortable ones because David doesn’t know how to talk game.

SEE ‘Big Brother 22’ spoilers: Janelle cries (!), and a new alliance forms

It was hard to tell what David was trying to do in this conversation. Campaign, I guess. He seemed to think Kaysar should be trying to flip him to work together going forward, but Kaysar clocked him left and right about him being aligned with Tyler and Cody Calafiore, aka two people coming for him and Janelle, so why should he try to flip David when David’s given no indication he wants to work with him and Janelle? Plus, like he said, how could he trust David when he told Janelle she’s “guilty by association” with Memphis, with whom they’re not working? (The best parts of this convo were when Kaysar was basically like, “Leave Janelle alone or I WILL END YOU.”) David’s comebacks amounted to complaining about the game, last season (“BB21” really did a number on him and Nicole A., and well, all of us) and Memphis. And then when Kaysar asked for the 58th time how they can work together, David responded with this gem: “When I come back, I don’t know. I don’t even know if I’m coming back.”

Say what? Do you think you’re still in Camp Comeback, dude?

Kaysar was equally flummoxed: “You are standing right here. Coming back from what? You are in the game.”

So, yeah, this went nowhere. All David had to do was be like, “I want to work with you and Janelle. Also, FYI, Nicole A. hates you guys, so you should stop trying to save her.”

Day is also over David. She later asked him — after he told her that he told Bayleigh Dayton he wants to work with the guys — if he would look out for her and Bay since it seems like all the women are being evicted, and he had no idea what to say. Just lie and say yes even if you’re not! Day eventually got a meager “yeah” out of him, but it was too late. “After this week I am done with you,” she told him. She and Bay then discussed flipping on David. However, Day, like everyone else not named Kaysar, still thinks Janelle cannot be trusted and is lying about everything.

Bay, on the other hand, did try to clue in Janelle on the fact that Nicole A. might not be worth saving because she hates her and Kaysar, but Janelle did not seem to pick up on it fully. It’s ironic that Bay and Day are blabbing stuff to everyone except this piece of information that might help them since they are in the middle of the house.

SEE ‘Big Brother 22’ spoilers: Everyone is obsessed with Janelle while Nicole A. gets brainwashed

Meanwhile, Nicole A. spent all day bitching about Janelle again, as did Nicole Franzel. If they do a Janelle montage on the broadcast, it’ll take up, like, 38 minutes of the episode because these people cannot keep her name out of their mouths. Nicole A. keeps threatening to call a house meeting to “expose” Jaysar, but most people have advised her against it. Tyler subtly encouraged her to go for it, but then Dani Briones undid all the work he put in. Nicole A. is still talking about it though, and it’s like, sh– or get off the pot. While Nicole F. and Dani’s hatred of Janelle seems petty, Nicole A.’s feels like she actually believes the B.S. she and Kevin Campbell are saying about Janelle, and her logic is more twisted than a pretzel now. She’s complaining that Janelle is campaigning for her because Janelle wants a split vote.

“That’s going to be my tomorrow pitch to everybody: ‘What she wants is a split house. Let’s not give it to her,'” Nicole told Kevin.

Um, OK, then you can go 12-0. You do realize a split vote is your best chance of staying, right? But, you know, Janelle is the one who wants this and she is evil, so we must do the opposite!

She later walked away in the middle of a convo with Jaysar like a petulant teen.

But, still, Jaysar remain unbothered. “We can call our alliance Kevin Is Obsessed with Us,” Kaysar told Janelle. “I’m kind of flattered someone can come back after 15 years and they still feel threatened.”

Better make that The Whole House Is Obsessed with Us.

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