Arsenio Hall, who hosted his own late-night talk show from 1989 to 1994 (and again, briefly, from 2013 to 2014), returned to late night on Monday to fill in for Jimmy Kimmel, who is on vacation.
Hall resurrected a bit he used to do on his show, “Things That Make You Go ‘Hmmm.’” While he was introducing it, some members of the studio audience went “hmmm” along with him. “Oh, some of you are over 40, yes!” he quipped. He explained that back then, the jokes were funny little stand-up-style observations that ended with the audience saying “Hmmm” after the punchline. But the world is more upside-down now, and he needs to step it up to stay with the times. So “Things That Make You Go ‘Hmmm’” is now “Things That Make You Go ‘What the F—.’”
Some things that make you go “What the F—” include:
Wet Pants Denim, which are jeans printed to look like the wearer wet their pants (“They cost $75, but you know you could pee on your pants for free, right?”); crystal meth getting into waterways and turning trout into addicts (“I guess they get they stuff from Walter Whitefish”); and the new trend on TikTok where people shove garlic up their nose to clear their sinuses (“Why can’t these kids just snort Adderall like normal people?”).
The response to all of these? Say it with Arsenio: “What the F—?”
Elsewhere in his monologue, Hall talked about how fun it was to have a reason to wear pants with a zipper for the first time in a while, Richard Branson going into space (“The Virgin flight took about an hour, which is the first time any virgin has ever done anything in an hour”), and showed a custom “Lie Witness News” segment where people on Hollywood Boulevard commented on the crisis in Zamunda, the fictional African nation from Hall’s movie “Coming to America.”
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