Stephen Colbert doesn’t think Jeff Bezos’ rich guy space jaunt mattered

On Tuesday’s “Late Show,” Stephen Colbert made fun of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos’ trip into inner space. “So happy you could all join us tonight for a momentous day in the history of some people having way too much money,” he said to open his monologue. 

Colbert made some jokes about how phallic Bezos’ Blue Origin rocket looks (and how phallic Bezos himself looks) and laughed at the cowboy hat Bezos put on as he exited the rocket after it landed. “A cowboy hat? So he went into space and somehow became extra divorced,” he cracked. 

Bezos is the second billionaire in just over a week to take a rocket ride on a spacecraft he paid for, in a space race among rich egomaniacs that is much less momentous than you’d think it was by the amount of media coverage it gets. 

“Here’s how I know it’s not important: I hosted the last one of these, OK? For Branson,” Colbert said, referring to Richard Branson, the billionaire who took his own rocket trip last week. Colbert put on his satirical news anchor suit and hosted the launch. “Lot of fun, but talk show hosts don’t anchor historic events,” Colbert said. “Except, of course, when Arsenio Hall interviewed the Berlin Wall.”

Colbert also thought the celebratory spraying of champagne both Branson and Bezos did undercut the solemnity of the moment. “If something is really important, it doesn’t need a big wet celebration,” he said. “You’ll remember Buzz Aldrin didn’t douse Neil Armstrong with Gatorade.” 

Finally, Colbert really didn’t like when at the post-flight press conference Bezos thanked every Amazon employee and customer, “because you guys paid for all this.” The studio audience booed at the clip while Colbert did a big, fake laugh. 

“It’s funny because he doesn’t pay taxes or his employees,” Colbert explained. 

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