Thursday was the one-year anniversary of the day when everything changed. March 11, 2020, was the day the World Health Organization officially declared the coronavirus health crisis a pandemic, President Donald Trump banned travel from Europe, the NBA postponed its season, and Tom Hanks revealed he was diagnosed with COVID-19. It was the last day many of us worked in an office. We’ve been home in sweatpants ever since.
“It’s funny to think back on all the dumb things we did when this started,” Kimmel said.
“Remember when we were carefully disassembling our Instacart deliveries like a munitions expert in “The Hurt Locker” or something? ‘Watch out, the Chipotle could explode!’”
So much has changed in the past year — specifically that we haven’t been able to see so many of our loved ones.
“I miss physical contact so much I applied for a job at Governor Cuomo’s office last month,” Kimmel cracked, referencing embattled New York governor Andrew Cuomo, who is facing numerous allegations of sexual harassment.
“Here in California, things are loosening up a little,” Kimmel said. Los Angeles County has issued guidelines for certain shuttered businesses, including movie theaters and gyms, to re-open, potentially as soon as this weekend. “I’m gonna pretend I’m excited the gyms are opening back up,” Kimmel joked. “I’m gonna be like, ‘Oh man, I cannot wait to get back to the gym!’”
Kimmel’s coronaversary monologue also included a fun PSA video in which delivery drivers reminded customers to tip them as you would the wait staff at a restaurant (and put some pants on when you come to the door), and the first and hopefully last “Zoomy Awards,” recognizing excellence in being hilarious on Zoom. You can probably guess which cat attorney won.
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