On Monday night, Jimmy Kimmel returned to his show after a week off, just in time to talk about the boat. You know, the enormous container ship that got stuck in the Suez Canal and hilariously disrupted global commerce for almost a week.
“I have to say, after all the fighting and the tooth-gnashing over the past few years, it was nice to see the whole world come together to make fun of a boat,” Kimmel said.
Kimmel said that the ship, known as the Ever Given, was finally unwedged from the Egyptian canal on Monday by a fleet of tug boats. “Same way they got Trump out of the White House,” he joked.
Billions of dollars worth of goods were unable to be sold because they couldn’t move. “Basically, capitalism had a heart attack over this last week,” Kimmel said. “The ship that got stuck was loaded with Ikea furniture, which means thousands of men in their twenties now have an excuse for why they don’t own a headboard.”
Kimmel said that we may see the effects of the delay in shipping in stores, and in particular, there may be shortages of coffee and toilet paper. “The good news is without one, you might not need the other,” he joked.
Canal authorities are still investigating the thing we all want to know, which is how this happened. “The shipping company is blaming a strong gust of wind, Kimmel said. “Which…I don’t know. They finished this canal in 1869. In 150 years, this is the first time they had wind?”
It’s very funny and scary and eye-opening to see how fragile the system of global capitalism is that it can be thrown for a loop by one big boat, and you don’t have to be a professional comedian like Jimmy Kimmel to see that. We all love the boat.
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