Stephen Colbert did a live “Late Show” after President Joe Biden’s address to a joint session of Congress, which the host said was “a bit odd,” because “Biden didn’t mention low flow toilets once.” (“People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times” is one of the all-time weirdest Trumpisms.)
The whole proceeding was strange, Colbert said, with the address delivered to a masked audience of about 200, instead of the usual 1600. “Still, 200 people is more than watched the Oscars,” Colbert cracked.
“Because of the limited number in the audience, most tickets were distributed by lottery,” Colbert said. “Democrats pulled names out of a hat, while Republicans used White Powerball.”
It was the first time two women had presided over a joint session of Congress, so Biden shouted out Vice President Kamala Harris and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Colbert noted the historical significance of the moment, and quoted “the Founding Fathers, Kool and the Gang, ‘Oh it’s ladies’ night, oh what a night.’”
Colbert didn’t like that Biden used a plane metaphor, saying “America’s ready for takeoff” in its pandemic recovery. “No, not a takeoff, you’re the train man!” Colbert yelled, mock-distressed. “We’re not taking off, we’re leaving the station! ‘All aboard! Toot toot!’ Joe Biden can’t talk about planes! You can’t use plane analogies, that’s like the Colonel bragging about his fried beef!”
Biden said that “America is an idea, the most unique idea in history.” That idea, Colbert said, is “there is no crust that cannot be stuffed.”
“So, what did we see tonight?” Colbert concluded. “The oldest president of all time, no handshakes just fist-bumping, 200 people in the room, and everybody in masks. It hasn’t felt that normal in five years.”
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