Stephen Colbert calls Trump’s departing lawyers “rats fleeing a sinking rat”

Over the weekend, five attorneys on former President Donald Trump’s impeachment defense team left the case due to disagreements in strategy and lack of chemistry with Trump, according to the New York Times. On Monday’s “Late Show,” host Stephen Colbert had some fun with these “rats fleeing a sinking rat.” 

“A source close to the ex-president described it as a ‘mutual decision,’” Colbert said. “Oh, totally mutual! ‘No, Carol did not divorce me — we divorced me. We also agreed that the lawn was the perfect place for all my shirts.’”

“It looks like the breakup happened after the ex-prez told the lawyers not to argue that it was unconstitutional to impeach him for insurrection after he left office, but instead focus on arguing that the election was stolen from him,” Colbert continued. “Aha, the brilliant legal strategy of pointing out to the jury how motivated you were to commit the crime.”


But even though Trump said he could defend himself if he wanted to, he’s found some new lawyers, Bruce Castor and David Schoen.

“Now these guys have a lot in common,” Colbert said of the two men, before digging into their history with Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein. “When he was a Pennsylvania D.A. in 2005, Castor declined to prosecute Bill Cosby as part of a ‘secret agreement,’ although it is possible Castor did not know, and Cosby just dropped the secret agreement into his drink.”

“Meanwhile, days before Jeffrey Epstein died, Schoen actually met with the accused child sex trafficker about ‘joining his defense.’ My God, who on earth would hire Jeffrey Epstein’s defense lawyer? Oh, Jeffrey Epstein’s wingman? Yeah, that makes sense,” Colbert said, while he played the infamous footage of Trump and Epstein yukking it up at Mar-A-Lago in 1992. 

Make your predictions at Gold Derby now. Download our free and easy app for Apple/iPhone devices or Android (Google Play) to compete against legions of other fans plus our experts and editors for best prediction accuracy scores. See our latest prediction champs. Can you top our esteemed leaderboards next? Always remember to keep your predictions updated because they impact our latest racetrack odds, which terrify Hollywood chiefs and stars. Don’t miss the fun. Speak up and share your huffy opinions in our famous forums where 5,000 showbiz leaders lurk every day to track latest awards buzz. Everybody wants to know: What do you think? Who do you predict and why?

SIGN UP for Gold Derby’s free newsletter with latest predictions

More News from GoldDerby