Stephen Colbert was not impressed with Trump’s rambling, repetitive rally

Former President Donald Trump, who has been relegated to releasing statements from his Mar-a-Lago compound, emerged last weekend to hold his first rally since the Jan. 6 insurrection. Stephen Colbert questioned why the former president was allowed to do that. “After the assassination, John Wilkes Booth wasn’t welcomed to Broadway for a sold-out performance of ‘I Shot Lincoln: The Musical,’” the “Late Show” host joked on Monday’s show. 

Colbert said that with six months to prepare, you’d think the former president would have come up with fresh material that presented a vision of the future, but Trump just played his greatest hits — like griping about the so-called stolen election, touting the benefits of hydroxychloroquine (“We have a vaccine!” Colbert yelled in frustration), and even reading the lyrics about the snake he’s been reciting since his first campaign. It had to have been an uninspiring showing even for MAGA diehards.

“But he did delight the crowd with one of his patented ‘I smell toast’ moments,” Colbert said. He rolled a clip of Trump rambling through a sentence he got completely lost in. With every word, you could feel Trump getting more and more off track, until he got to the end: “America is still the nation that conquered the Wild West, that vanquished the murderous dictators, that ended the evil empires, and that sent a brave young man from Ohio to…a…plant.” 

Colbert made a “huh?” face for about 15 seconds to the delight of the studio audience before asking “Really? A plant. Yes, he was a brave young man from Ohio named Jack, and the nation sent him to climb that beanstalk, where he skyrocketed to fee-fi-fo-fame.” 

Trump continued “fumbling, flailing, and failing to remember” the name of the first man to walk on the Moon, pointing to a person in the crowd and asking if they knew who the man was. He wanted it to come off like “I know who it is, do you know?” But really it was like “Please, help me out, I can’t remember.” 

“He’s trying to talk about Neil Armstrong, but he said ‘plant’ when he meant ‘planet,’ which is not where Neil Armstrong went,” Colbert said. “That’s like trying to describe George Washington by saying ‘you know who I mean, the guy on the money and with the teeth made out of the cherry tree with the painting of him crossing the deli meats.” 

Trump also said “Law & Auto.” Chung chung, beep beep! 

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