There are pros and cons to being Tom Brady. On the one hand, you get to be the greatest quarterback to ever play football, have hundreds of millions of dollars, be married to a supermodel, and defy the laws of aging and NFL history by leading the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to the Super Bowl at the age of 43. On the other hand, people hate you. They hate you so much!
Brady stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live for an all-Brady, pre-Super Bowl edition of “Mean Tweets” in order to show that he is a human who knows the feeling of laughter. But it seems like Kimmel’s team may have had trouble finding tweets about Brady that were funny and not just hateful. Tom Brady had to read some very nasty thoughts about himself.
The segment started off with a pretty good burn: “Tom Brady seems like the kind of man who doesn’t know how to use a wrench,” which Brady had to admit was “kind of true.”
Then it escalated, with the first of many tweets about the “butthole” in Brady’s cleft chin, followed by someone asking “Is there really anyone you’d rather see dropped in a vat of rendered bacon fat than Tom Brady?” That one made Brady laugh.
“Do you ever watch/listen to Tom Brady speak and think to yourself ‘this is the personification of an actual butthole taking a s—?’” someone wrote, which just left Brady perplexed.
Brady was a good sport about it until someone threatened his dog. “F— you Tom Brady I hope your dog eats chocolate and gets really sick and throws up on your socks,” someone wrote, to which Brady responded, “That’s f—ed up.” He will not hesitate to go Tom Wick on you!
After seeing all these mean tweets about Tom Brady, you almost feel bad for the guy, until you remember the agelessness and the money and success and you’re like, “eh, he’s fine.”
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