“The Daily Show” was the only late-night show to air a new episode on President’s Day, and Trevor Noah made the most of it, delivering a blisteringly funny monologue about former president Donald Trump’s acquittal in his second impeachment trial over the weekend.
Trump was acquitted on a 57-43 margin, with seven Republican senators voting to convict, the most ever from an impeached president’s party, which Noah said was bad news for Trump. “The good news for him is it wasn’t enough. So Trump is free to go, baby!” Noah said, putting on a faux-celebratory voice. “2024, here we come! Ooh, and we’re getting the whole crew back together: Steve Bannon, Jared Kushner, that dude with the horns, Mike Pence – sorry about trying to get you killed – but that’s in the past now! Let’s do this!”
Noah acknowledged that Trump’s acquittal was disappointing to a lot of people, but anyone who has ever observed Trump knew it was coming. “This is what Trump does,” Noah explained. “He wiggles his way out of accountability. Trying to hold Trump accountable for his crimes is like trying to kill a fruit fly.” You slap your palms together and think you got it, but then “you open your hands and he’s not even there, he’s halfway across the room, sitting on your girlfriend’s boob.”
Cynical Republican Senators had to find a way to not endorse the broadly unpopular former president while not alienating his supporters. “The GOP base still loves Trump and would turn on anyone who votes against him faster than Buffy fans turned on Joss Whedon,” Noah said, referencing the hostile workplace controversy around the embattled producer.
Noah, however, directed his most pointed ire at Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell. In the aftermath of the verdict, McConnell said that while Trump was guilty of provoking the Capitol riot, it was someone else’s responsibility to hold him accountable, since Trump isn’t the president anymore. “All of a sudden, Mitch is coming up with excuses just so that he doesn’t have to take a stand,” Noah said of the much-criticized minority leader. “And I just have one question, Senator McConnell: How can you even look at yourself?”
“‘I never have, Trevor,’” Noah answered, doing an impression of the senator’s oft-imitated voice. “‘Every time I look in the mirror, it kills itself.’”
In the end, though, Trump got off yet again, and solidified himself as the “acquittal G.O.A.T.,” short for “Greatest of All Time.”
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