“The Umbrella Academy” airs on Netflix, telling the story of seven superhero siblings who have been flung to all corners of time and space trying to avert the apocalypse — sometimes more than one apocalypse. But as with any superhero team, we can’t help but have our favorites, so scroll down to see how we rank the dysfunctional Hargreeves children, and let us know where you think they should place.
The Hargreeves children are no strangers to being pitted against each other. After they were mysteriously born to different women across the world simultaneously in 1989, they were adopted by billionaire Reginald Hargreeves (Colm Feore), who raised them into a team of crime-fighters and was all too happy to stoke their rivalries, insecurities and jealousies.
In fact, dear old dad didn’t even give them names, just numbers. It was their robotic mother, Grace, who finally named them — most of them anyway. Unsurprisingly, the septet grew up with an impressive set of emotional traumas and dysfunctions, as much from their upbringing as from their crime-fighting. And sometimes those dysfunctions cause as much mayhem as their superpowers are able to prevent. It goes to show that bad parenting can be the most dangerous supervillain.
Unlike Reginald, though, we actually like all seven members of the Hargreeves clan. Though we can’t help but hold a special place in our hearts for a few of them. See our “Umbrella Academy” sibling countdown below. Some spoilers from the TV series follow.
7. Diego (David Castañeda)
He’s able to curve the trajectory of weapons he throws, ensuring their uncanny accuracy, and as he grew up he ended up taking the Batman route as a dark, brooding vigilante. That gives Diego a hero complex and a tendency to be rash and impulsive. He doesn’t play well with others, but we hope he’ll start to realize that he’s stronger with his team.
6. Luther (Tom Hopper)
He possessed super strength even before Reginald injected him with a serum that turned him into a part-ape to save his life — don’t you hate it when that happens? Idealistic and fully committed to his mission, he’s the Captain America of this band of misfits, even when his father sent him to the moon for mysterious reasons. Luther spent a lot of season one pining for his adoptive sister Allison, so we appreciated that season two gave him the opportunity to showcase his lighter, funnier side. He’s really just a big teddy bear — er, teddy ape.
5. Ben (Justin H. Min)
Ben died young, but he’s still a member of the team since his brother Klaus can commune with the dead. Since he has mostly been relegated to haunting his one sibling, we haven’t gotten to know him as well as the rest of the clan, but season two did allow him to fall in love and even save Vanya in her time of need. We hope he’s not done haunting us.
4. Allison (Emmy Raver-Lampman)
She can control minds by saying the phrase “I heard a rumor,” and she grew up to be a movie star, but her season two adventures are what deepened our appreciation of her. A Black woman transported into the 1960s Civil Rights movement, she struggled to create a new life for herself and resisted the urge to use her powers to ease her way through the painful and often violent segregation of the era.
3. Vanya (Ellen Page)
We love Vanya because she’s an object lesson in resilience in the face of abuse. She was isolated from her siblings as a child and told she had no powers even though she was the most powerful (and dangerous) of them all. Reginald even drugged her to suppress her abilities. All that gaslighting took its toll on her, to the point that she nearly caused a couple of apocalypses as she discovered the truth, and she’s still coming to terms with her powers and her desires. We’d like to see her get through her next adventure with a little less trauma. She deserves a shot at happiness.
2. Number Five (Aidan Gallagher)
He can travel through space and time, and boy did he ever. He got himself stuck in the future and grew up to be an assassin, but when he finally returned he was back in a child’s body despite retaining his grown-up memories, experiences and intellect. Hearing such world-weary cynicism from his youthful teenage form has been a consistent delight.
1. Klaus (Robert Sheehan)
It’s no surprise he started a cult when he traveled back in time in season two. We already belonged to the Church of Klaus in season one. Like Vanya, he was psychologically walloped by his childhood traumas. He can communicate with the dead, which would be a horrifying experience for any child even without such a domineering dad. To quiet the voices, he turned to drugs and alcohol, which obviously isn’t healthy, but the unapologetically queer Klaus also developed a gives-no-f*cks irreverence that makes him the Hargreeves we’d most like to hang out with — or worship as our savior, whichever comes first.