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Anonymous
My Official 2017 Razzie Nominating Ballot
Worst Picture
1. “The Emoji Movie,” produced by Michelle Raimo Kouyate
2. “The Mummy,” produced by Alex Kurtzman, Chris Morgan, Sean Daniel, and Sarah Bradshaw
3. “Transformers: The Last Knight,” produced by Don Murphy, Tom DeSanto, Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, and Ian Bryce
4. (write-in) “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter,” produced by Paul W.S. Anderson, Jeremy Bolt, Robert Kulzer, and Samuel Hadida
5. (write-in) “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” produced by Graham Broadbent, Pete Czernin, and Martin McDonaghWorst Director
1. Tony Leondis “The Emoji Movie”
2. Tyler Perry “Boo 2! A Madea Halloween”
3. Michael Bay “Transformers: The Last Knight”
4. (write-in) Paul W.S. Anderson “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter”
5. (write-in) Tomas Alfredson “The Snowman”Worst Actor
1. Johnny Depp “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales”
2. Tom Cruise “The Mummy”
3. Will Ferrell “Daddy’s Home 2” and “The House”
4. Charlie Hunnam “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword”
5. (write-in) T.J. Miller “The Emoji Movie”Worst Actress
1. Tyler Perry (as Madea) “Boo 2! A Madea Halloween”
2. Emma Watson “The Circle”
3. Amy Poehler “The House”
4. Katherine Heigl “Unforgettable”
5. (write-in) Frances McDormand “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”Worst Supporting Actor
1. Russell Crowe “The Mummy”
2. Jude Law “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword”
3. (write-in) James Corden “The Emoji Movie”
4. (write-in) Iain Glen “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter”
5. (write-in) Sam Rockwell “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”Worst Supporting Actress
1. Laura Haddock “Transformers: The Last Knight”
2. Kim Basinger “Fifty Shades Darker”
3. Goldie Hawn “Snatched”
4. (write-in) Annabelle Wallis “The Mummy”
5. (write-in) Diamond White “Boo 2! A Madea Halloween”Worst Screenplay
1. “The Emoji Movie,” Screenplay by Tony Leondis, Eric Siegel, and Mike White. Story by Tony Leondis and Eric Siegel
2. “The House,” written by Brendan O’Brian and Andrey Jay Cohen
3. “The Mummy,” Screenplay by David Koepp, Christopher McQuarrie, and Dylan Kussman. Story by Jon Spaihts, Alex Kurtzman, and Jenny Lumet.
4. “Transformers: The Last Knight,” Screenplay by Art Marcum, Matt Holloway, and Ken Nolan. Story by Akiva Goldsman, Art Marcum, Matt Holloway, and Ken Nolan.
5. “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales,” Screenplay by Jeff Nathanson. Story by Jeff Nathanson and Terry Rossio.Worst Remake, Rip-off, or Sequel
1. “Boo 2! A Madea Halloween”
2. “The Mummy”
3. “Transformers: The Last Knight”
4. “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales”
5. “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword”Worst Screen Combo
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1. Johnny Depp and His Worn Out Drunk Routine “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales”
2. Any two obnoxious Emojis “The Emoji Movie”
3. Tyler Perry and either the ratty old dress or worn out wig “Boo 2! A Madea Halloween”
4. (write-in) Charlie Hunnam and Excalibur “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword”
5. (write-in) Any Zombie or Zombie-Like Character “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter”Nominating Three Billboards over Fifty Shades
I actually saw both of those movies. Fifty Shades was just okay to me, but not unwatchable. The risque subject matter was well-handled. The cinematography was fine. The performances were good enough. I don’t think it deserved any Razzie nods besides Basinger, who I just felt sorry for. Again, Fifty Shades wasn’t great, it just wasn’t “Worst of Cinema” to me. Just my opinion.
Three Billboards pisses me off more and more as it has resonated with me ever since I saw it. There is “overrated” (Dunkirk) and then there is The Mummy, The Emoji Movie, and Three Billboards, “genuinely awful.”
ReplyCopy URLSo, what do you all think?
Worst Movie: The Dark Tower and Valerian were cinema excrement far more than RE: This is REALLY, HONESTLY, TRULY the Final Chapter and 3 Billboards
I genuinely liked Valerian and The Dark Tower. Dane Dehaan’s character got on my nerves sometimes in Valerian, but other than that I enjoyed the film. Dark Tower I honestly wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel to, even though I know it will never happen. Idris Elba and the boy were perfect as their characters. I never read any of the “Dark Tower” books, so maybe I would hate the film if I had any connection to the source material. Regardless, both movies worked on their own merits well enough for me. Neither were great movies, just entertaining B-movies.
Feel free to vote on the Razzies next year if you disagree with my choices. We are both entitled to our own opinions and that is fine. All art is entirely subjective, after all. 🙂
ReplyCopy URLSince Teridax ignored me and hates me guts, would someone else mind asking him if I can use his ballot for my DA TRUE RAZZIES awards?
ReplyCopy URLFYC: Ready Player One. Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Visual Effects, Original Score, Production Design, Director and BEST PICTURE (make it happen Oscars!!)
Since Teridax ignored me and hates me guts, would someone else mind asking him if I can use his ballot for my DA TRUE RAZZIES awards?
@kaplanator95
ReplyCopy URLI have seen worse performances than Emma Watson in The Circle. That movie was forgettable, and she was serviceable. Kaya Scoldelario in Pirates deserves this over her. Really, she was Barbosa’s daughter? Boring!
Also, while Unforgettable was total crap, Heigl I think was finally embracing her type. Her performance was a guilty pleasure of mine earlier this year. She was not trying to be anything else. Although I’m not surprised she is here. Lol
ReplyCopy URL“Someone is staring at you in ‘Personal Growth’.”
Okay thanks!
Just to let you know, in my awards, I count Tyler Perry in “Best Actor” and not “Best Actress” since he is in fact male. If you wish to change your ballot accordingly, I would be much appreciated.
I also have categories for “Worst Animated Feature”, “Worst Editing” and “Worst Cast Ensemble”. If you can supply ballots for those, I would also appreciate it.
ReplyCopy URLFYC: Ready Player One. Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Visual Effects, Original Score, Production Design, Director and BEST PICTURE (make it happen Oscars!!)
I have seen worse performances than Emma Watson in The Circle. That movie was forgettable, and she was serviceable. Kaya Scoldelario in Pirates deserves this over her. Really, she was Barbosa’s daughter? Boring!
Also, while Unforgettable was total crap, Heigl I think was finally embracing her type. Her performance was a guilty pleasure of mine earlier this year. She was not trying to be anything else. Although I’m not surprised she is here. Lol
I thought Kaya was pathetic in Pirates 5, just for the record. I thought she was Supporting though, not lead. I think she was miscast but not as bad as Thwaites or even poor Rush, reuniting after Gods of Egypt for another CGI-nonsense disaster of a wannabe-epic movie. She wasn’t as memorable or as annoying as Wallis and White were in The Mummy and Boo 2, so I left her off my ballot as a write-in. However, we are in agreement she was still very bad in Pirates 5.
I thought Tom Hanks was mediocre casting but still serviceable for his weak material, (why I didn’t vote for him), while Emma Watson seemed too uncomfortable and amateurish reading her lines. I never believed her for a second, she was terrible to me, but feel free to disagree on that one. I know you are a fan of Ms. Watson’s and while I am not in general, even for her this felt like she was really phoning it in this time more than usual.
I debated right up until the very end whether or not to vote for Heigl, but I ultimately decided that while she was VERY entertaining in her role, she was still a “so bad that it’s good” performance. Worst Lead Actress felt like a really weak category this year, just like it was for me last year. I will not be voting for Heigl for the win, but she was just barely ridiculous enough (as funny as her ridiculousness was), that I felt she was Razzie nomination worthy.
ReplyCopy URLYou went after Three Billboards’ performances but not its direction and script? I thought the movie was great regardless, but you didn’t exactly commit to your hatred of it.
The Dark Tower was terrible, by the way. I love Idris in anything he does and I thought McConaughey was good, too, but awful plot and mediocre dialogue and action. And Fifty Shades just can’t commit to any idea other than squeezing in eight sex scenes per movie, and all of them are stripped of sexiness by banal dialogue and the duo’s inability to stop giggling at the ridiculousness of it every five seconds.
If you wanna talk about mediocre casting, I wrote-in Mark Wahlberg for All the Money in the World (in addition to the lead role in Transformers). Total investment from Williams and Plummer and then you get this douche who’s obviously from Boston trying to pass his character off as smart and emotionally involved when he was a bumbling fool running around in circles in real life.
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This reply was modified 1 year ago by
Eric Close.
You went after Three Billboards’ performances but not its direction and script? I thought the movie was great regardless, but you didn’t exactly commit to your hatred of it.
The Dark Tower was terrible, by the way. I love Idris in anything he does and I thought McConaughey was good, too, but awful plot and mediocre dialogue and action. And Fifty Shades just can’t commit to any idea other than squeezing in eight sex scenes per movie, and all of them are stripped of sexiness by banal dialogue and the duo’s inability to stop giggling at the ridiculousness of it every five seconds.
If you wanna talk about mediocre casting, I wrote-in Mark Wahlberg for All the Money in the World (in addition to the lead role in Transformers). Total investment from Williams and Plummer and then you get this douche who’s obviously from Boston trying to pass his character off as smart and emotionally involved when he was a bumbling fool running around in circles in real life.
I didn’t want to just throw everything at Three Billboards. I like to spread the wealth around, with a few exceptions every year for films I particularly despised. This year those travesties were The Mummy and The Emoji Movie.
Basically, there were more than enough options on the nominating ballot for me to pick 5 for Worst Screenplay, with no room for write-ins. As for Worst Director, I decided The Snowman was the worse-directed film just because McDonagh at least filmed the entire script, unlike Tomas Alfredson where he didn’t film 10-15% of the script. RE: The Worst Chapter was completely incomprehensible, soulless, and insulting to the intelligence and decency of human beings. In Worst Picture, I felt that most of the options shortlisted by John Wilson ranged from genuinely good like Mother, Valerian, Dark Tower (in my opinion, obviously) to mediocre but not “Worst of Cinema” such as Baywatch and Fifty Shades Darker. Of the 11 or so shortlisted for Worst Picture, only Emoji, Mummy, and Bayformers 5 stood out as being that atrocious. I decided to select Three Billboards as the 2nd of my write-ins after the obvious RE garbage because I wanted to give a sincere hearty f**k you to Martin McDonagh and his misguided mess of a film.
I thought Idris was fantastic with the okay material he was given in The Dark Tower. I just got back from seeing him in Molly’s Game and what an actor! McConaughey was effectively creepy. Not a great villain but not Razzie-worthy in the slightest.
Fifty Shades really should have been on lifetime. It was an okay soap that only was truly interesting when it focused on the characters. Also, the movie was serviceable in its eroticism. I hate how they tried to sell it to audiences as being porn when Christian Grey DOESN’T EVEN TAKE HIS PANTS OFF DURING SEX. LOL to that!
I thought the dialogue was fine, that movie itself was well-crafted on a technical level, and that there were tons of worse movies (Kingsman: The Golden Circle, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2., Boo 2, etc) with and without critical acclaim, that were for me more obnoxious and/or offensively idiotic than Fifty Shades.
I thought Mark Wahlberg was nowhere near as amazing as Plummer and Williams in ATMITW, but I see where you’re coming from, even though I disagree. A few years ago, I wrote in Ryan Reynolds for R.I.P.D. and Turbo when he was only on the Razzie nominating ballot for the former, because I thought the latter was so lazy (if forgettably generic in hindsight) at the time he deserved to be nominated for that as well.
I didn’t know you were a Razzie voter as well! Would you mind sending me your ballot in a private message? If you wish to keep it private, I totally understand.
Thank you for your mature and sincere feedback. Even though we disagreed on some points, it is nice to know that we can do so in a respectful manner. 🙂
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