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Aziz Ansari accused of sexual misconduct

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  • PoweR
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    All I got from that tell-all was that she didn’t enjoy the consensual sex.

    And it’s ridiculous that his career should end over something that she could have easily walked away from if she didn’t enjoy it. There are plenty of male celebrities that should be exiled from the business; Ansari isn’t one of them.

    Are we going to exiled all male celebrities every time a story comes out like this? The #MeToo movement is much needed, but people will start to not take it seriously over incidents like this one here. It reminds me of the BLM movement.

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    Anonymous
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    probablyROB
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    As a straight white guy I am always fairly reticent about discussing some of these topics.  Not because I don’t have an opinion but because I feel like my opinion is immediately painted in bias unless I agree 100% with the majority of the public.  With #metoo I’ve been fairly on the public’s side with their outrage towards most of the accused.  However, this one is weird.  There’s a ton of editorializing and victim-blaming and even close women in my life are on the side of Aziz and it is kind of mystifying.

     

    “When Ansari told her he was going to grab a condom within minutes of their first kiss, Grace voiced her hesitation explicitly. “I said something like, ‘Whoa, let’s relax for a sec, let’s chill.’””

    When I read that and then read how he pushed and pushed and pushed despite a ton of both verbal and non-verbal cues I was pretty disgusted by his behavior.  I don’t know that it was a rape but I don’t think he’s as oblivious as he is trying to play up either.  A friend of mine found herself in a very similar situation and even said she felt obligated to perform some of the sexual acts she did after the male refusing to “take a hint” and maybe that is on the girl in someway.  But she was 22 and he is 34.  He knows better.  Pretending otherwise is being deliberately obtuse.  Maybe it wasn’t rape, but to me acknowledging someone telling you “I don’t want to feel forced because then I’ll hate you, and I’d rather not hate you” and the placating them for 5 minutes before sticking your fingers down their throat isn’t good behavior and not beyond accountability.

    Ultimately, I mostly feel like he was a creep acting younger than his age.  And while that isn’t a crime it isn’t negligible either.  The accuser used a pseudonym, and so I tend to think her pain and frustration is legitimate.  But what do I know.  I’m the same age as Aziz and would have chilled after she asked me to.  But this isn’t about me.

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    distain
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    Nothing is going to happen to Ansari, and this whole case has been a massive blow to the TimesUp and MeToo movement. The Atlantic, New York Times and Washington Post have put up Op-Eds and articles defending Ansari. Netflix and any company he works with will be emboldened by the level of support he’s getting in media and social media, and he’s not getting dropped or boycotted (unless of course, more serious stories emerge). He’s basically been turned into a martyr.

    It’s even splitting opinion from vocal TimesUp proponents. Kirsten Bell is on Twitter retweeting articles defending Ansari. A lot of women on social media are defending Ansari. It’s a huge clusterf*ck, and if more cases like Ansari get exposure, people are going to find the whole movement frivolous and easy to dismiss.

    It’s a goddamn shame the Ansari case hogged most of the attention this week, when the genuinely horrifying and tragic case of Eliza Dushku’s molestation as a child is what really should have been the focus.

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    PoweR
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4bAULTwAJU

    This is PERFECT! ***Drops mic***

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    Riley Chow
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    Seeing more pieces like that.  There seems to be a growing consensus.

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    Miles
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    The backlash has started against the accuser, and rightfully so, so I think Ansari escapes unscathed.

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    PoweR
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    People are definitely more on Ansari’s side in this case. Even that video likes far exceed its dislikes. I don’t see how anyone can side with the accuser anyway. Bad sex is not the same as assault or rape. This whole thing is a joke and waste of time.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  PoweR.
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    Anonymous
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    Riley Chow
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    His refusal to comment on Louis C.K. has stuck with me. I also watched Master of None thinking that Bobby Cannavale’s character was based on C.K., which turned out not to be the case.

    The backlash has started against the accuser, and rightfully so, so I think Ansari escapes unscathed.

    I am hesitant to go that far because I do not see what anyone has to gain from hiring him, but he does not have anything on the horizon, so maybe it will have tided over by the time that he would have returned to movies and shows anyway. (He previously said that Master of None was finished unless he got married or had kids or something in real life, in which case it could return down the line like Curb Your Enthusiasm; he said that he had managed to say all that he wanted to about being a single guy dating.)

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    Anonymous
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    probablyROB
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    I agree with Teridax about the Aziz thing. The people IRL that seem to fervently side with Aziz do a lot of editorializing of their own (deciding she’s just being punitive after the fact or she’s making things up or exaggerating, looking for attention) and are being incredulous when it comes to the facts. The main ones to me being that the publication Babe.net sought Grace out, not the other way around. She didn’t go looking to punish Aziz. She used a pseudonym and didn’t glorify herself in anyway. And it’s possible she is lying but Aziz didn’t deny any of the story and Babe.net did actually fact check by interviewing friends of Grace’s and reviewing text exchanges. If anything, the website was being an opportunist and exploiting the metoo movement. They are the only ones that seem too have benefited from this whole thing. And while I don’t think this particular instance will derail the movement, one because I think it is a discussion that needs to be had with regards to drawing clearer lines regarding consent, but also that if it did derail the movement then it was a pretty fragile movement to begin with.

    The Mel Gibson thing is easier to understand because all of the stuff that went down with him happened so long ago. Up until Hacksaw Ridge his most notable thing in Hollywood for a decade was a movie where he talked to a puppet on his hand. It could be a matter of Hollywood forgiving him but mostly it would seem they just forgot.

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by  probablyROB.
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    Icky
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    I’m definitely not liking the minor backlash against this woman. It was clear to me from the beginning that Aziz was in the wrong. I was just (and still am) uncertain about exactly what went down and whether it’s worth the exile treatment. This was a more “subtle” situation than many of the other scenarios we’ve heard, but at the very least it forces us to have a more nuanced conversation on gender and sexual politics.

    As far as Mel Gibson, his sh*t went down during a more “forgiving” time. But his career definitely suffered. Race didn’t have as much to do with him being allowed to stick around so much status. (There are non-white people that have been accused of some horrible stuff but still have careers). At that point he had a ton of industry friends and had been in plenty of hit movies throughout the decades. And it’s not like the Jews, blacks, gays and/or women of the industry took a real stand against him at the time.

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    probablyROB
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    It’s come to the point for me where if someone can only defend Aziz’s side by attacking the girl then I simply stop listening to them. I’m pretty sick of hearing how other people would have (or have) acted in a similar situation. I think his behavior was shitty and borderline and I am incredulous to those who think he was just oblivious and let him off the hook.

    I still defend Grace’s telling of this story and think in the long run it will be viewed as a necessary, albeit uncomfortable, conversation during this time. Maybe that makes Aziz a martyr of some kind, I don’t know.

    What I will say is I am ambivalent about Ansari’s career moving forward. I doubt he’ll disappear, there’s far too much support for him for that to happen, but even if his career isn’t what it could have been then so be it. Maybe the conversation is more about whether or not it is fair if his career implodes. Probably not. But fairness is a nebulous area that can’t be applied retroactively.

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    Stretchy
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    There were already major problems with the article, this from the author doesn’t help much

    Banfield read from the email on her show Tuesday night, quoting Katie Way, who wrote, in part, “Ashleigh — someone I am certain nobody under the age of 45 has heard of — I hope the 500 retweets on the single news write-up made that burgundy lipstick, bad highlights, second-wave feminist has-been really relevant for a little while.”

    Whoop diddy scoop!

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